Heart-rending

visiting to hospital everyday has become a habit that i hope i can never ever do it from now on.

we're waiting miracle from say to day.
waiting for my sister to recover from illness,
waiting for the slightly positive changes on her health.
even it was such a great relieve when seeing herself able to move her hands to scratch her itchy face.
she moved her hand slowly and tried her best to scratch her face without seeking help from us.

mixed feelings raise up at the moment.
i'm happy and at the same time i'm grieved over it.
my sister shouldn't suffer because of this illness.

she is only 27-year-old, this is the moment to enjoy life.
thinking of this makes me sorrow again.
the readers of this blog might say: sadness helps nothing.
i know it, i know i shouldn't be pessimistic,
i should always think of the bright side.
if u were in my shoes, u will know that it is not that easy to not think about it.

sometimes i think how long my bro-in-law can wait?
one year? 2 years?
endless sigh when ponder about this.
when she is weeping, she is helpless,
what can we lend her a hand?
it is nothing we could help...
in front of crowded, i'm always cheerful, optimistic, tough.
sometimes it is just a mask, they do not see the vulnerable side ...