壓力罷了，怕什麽？！

已深的夜，寂寞的我，又來到這兒了。

一位朋友剛出來社會工作，她說，她害怕工作，沒有安全感，怕不能應付工作，對工作性質也不喜歡。。

好多的害怕。。

坦白說，誰不曾怕過呢？

當初我半工讀，也曾害怕過，

害怕上司突擊檢查，害怕營業額不佳，害怕在工作上遇到的種種難題。

那時十多歲的我，雖然害怕，爲了錢，咬緊牙根，走過來了，

現在二十多歲的我，還有資格說怕嗎？

我想我非常慶倖自己早投入社會，因此我知道：做就對了

一直被害怕籠罩著，是不會成功的。

心態不改變，又怎麼能創出一個亮眼的未來呢？

講絕一點，你一直給自己後路，

這樣的心態是不會成功的。

朋友，人人都有壓力，

就算每天坐著的乞丐也會有壓力，他們的壓力來自于恐怕沒人施捨錢財於他們。

朋友，你大學畢業，有的是能力與膽量，你害怕什麽呢?

害怕源自于恐懼，只要我們征服了，以後這個陰影就不會跟隨我們了。

朋友，希望你在未來的日子里，一個人的日子里，

加油、勇敢、不要害怕

一首自己專屬的《寂寞之歌》

從晚上九點開始，知道午夜12.30，我一口氣把藤井樹的《寂寞之歌》看完。

對，是看完，而並非能完全領悟固中之意。

我們都在唱著一首自己的寂寞之歌，一首只有自己能明白，能體會的寂寞之歌。

就算我們的經歷再相似，你始終不是我，

我的悸動，我的感慨，我的感觸，你怎麼可能明白，

--或許我們都懂，但這都遠不及他們感受得深--

於是我只能把寂寞之歌重複地，一遍又一遍地唱著。

我把我的寂寞剝開，與眾人分享，但我的寂寞旋律只有自己明白。。

又怎麼能他人分享呢？

我。。更寂寞了，這是一種更上一層的寂寞。

我們都是寂寞的。。。

想當初我開這個部落格，也不是因為我寂寞嗎？

你會說，我有家人，朋友，另一半，我還寂寞什麽？

多希望有人懂我，但最後才領悟到這是一首只有自己明瞭的寂寞之歌。

我神經線雖然粗，但仍有細膩的時候。

夜深人靜，我也會多愁善感，但慶倖我的性格不會讓自己陷入這種情緒太久。

天一亮，我就恢復了那個白天的我。。。

來這裡的過客，我相信每個人都會寂寞的。。

但再寂寞，也要與人分享哦，那麼寂寞就會減輕那麼一點點。。。

The 18th day i been to Liverpool

13 of June, the 18th day i been to Liverpool, UK.

Wonder how's my beloved family at Malaysia.

Now i already get used with the strong wind, low temperature summer weather at Liverpool.

The summer weather here equal to winter for Asian like me.

I realize and deeply agree that cooking everyday is tiresome.

Cooking is especially frustrated when i have class till evening.

i have to prepare lunchbox for myself everyday.

To make my morning hassle less,

hence, i consume ready-to-serve pasta almost every time for those days i have evening class.

I do admit my diet within this two weeks of time were malnutrition.

I always, or maybe everyday eat instant food, include ready-made pasta, pizza, canned mushroom soup and high MSG foods.

Hence, from today onward, i promise to have healthy diet, reduce the intake of chips, ready-to-serve pasta.

Mom and dad, i miss you all =)

Liverpool - Aldham Robarts LRC的小公园

一棵树要多少年才能长这么高呢？人类请珍惜大自然

茂密树荫

供人休息的椅子，是角度的问题吗，我觉得这照片有点恐怖诶~~~

草地上的鸟儿

我爱大自然，爱这里的青青草地.

倒数48小时

再过48小时，我就会在飞机上瞰望马来西亚这一片土地。

再过48小时，暂时与家人朋友告别，最不舍得还是家人。

再过48小时，就轮到我发挥射手座独立的个性，自己打理自己的生活。

很多人问我，要出国了，兴奋吗？

坦白说，我真的不觉得兴奋。

此刻的心情，不舍多于兴奋。

其实我很依赖家人吧，因为家永远都是最温暖的港口。

我担心妈妈不听话，不乖乖地去动眼部手术，

也担心她不忌口，明知自己的肺不好，还常常想吃甜吃冰冷的食物。

我也心疼爸爸，该是在家含饴弄孙的年纪，

却还是在为这个家奔波劳碌，工作上不如意却还是得咬紧牙根撑下去。

犹记得小时候看到同学的父母衣着光鲜亮丽，

而爸爸都穿着油迹斑斑的制服，开始怨恨爸爸丢自己的脸。

放学钟声响起，爸爸都会驾着大罗里来接我回家，

我的表情应该都很不自然吧，总是深怕同学发现爸爸是个没受过教育的罗里司机。

接了我之后，爸爸又开始到处送货。

大太阳底下，我看着他汗流浃背，辛勤地把一箱又一箱的货从罗里卸下来。

而当时的我就坐在车里吹冷气。

长大了开始了解父母赚钱辛苦，一一分一毛皆来的不易。

爸爸现在也没驾大罗里了，而童年里的大罗里，都是我最美好的回忆。

爸爸的一生里都没过过好日子。

小时候三四岁就跟着大人从中国来到这里做苦工，

六十年过去了，也在马来西亚落地生根了。

爸爸没受过教育，可是却写得一手好字，懂的事情也很多，

如果当时他有机会念书，际遇肯定不一样。

爸，对不起，女儿让你辛苦了。

我也会想起大姐，

清明节去拜她，还是很眼浅地流了两行眼泪。

中五毕业了，跑去做传销，姐姐劝我回到校园继续学业，她劝我不动，就找来了姐夫当说客。

最后倔强的我还是没听她的话。

过了一年，我还是继续学业了。可是姐姐的眉头却越皱越紧，满怀心事的模样。

当时她的负担很大，可也是咬着牙撑了下去。

还以为我们四姐妹都会在一起到白发都变白。

辛苦了二十多年，最后却没机会看到我毕业。

纵然姐姐不在了，但她还是在活我的心中。

每当别人问我有多少个姐姐，我都会说我有两个好姐姐。

还有二姐，大姐不在了，她就得一夜长大，不再贪玩任性。

肩肩上的责任很重，很多不会的事都逼自己去学会。

二姐，辛苦你了，我很快就毕业了，我们一起努力改善家里的生活。

还有小妹，她现在的工作没什么发展机会，希望她能立定志向，好好努力。

而我在国外的这几个月，我会好好照顾自己，努力考的好成绩。

出国焦虑症

凌晨五点，在床上翻来覆去了两个多小时，

感觉很累，但眼皮却还是合不起来。

半夜睡不着，结果终于忍不住洗了头,

两个小时前刚从文周的生日派对回来，头发都是烟味,

虽然现在洗了头，可是还是揉和着香烟的味道, 真的受不了烟味...

要用护发素把味道盖掉了...

洗完了头也把出国要带的衣服全都丢进洗衣机。

看着那堆衣物，我突然不想出国了.

虽然只是短短的几个月,

虽然时间一眨眼就过了,

可是我突然不想出国了, 纵然只是那'短短'的四个月.

我会想念爸妈，想念二姐，想念娟娟.

出国的那几月，我答应了妈要好好照顾自己.

我知道我三餐不定, 经常熬夜, 妈一定会担心我的.

在国外的这几个月, 我一定要照顾好自己.

前些日子妈想到我要出国几个月,

她说: 你长这么大了, 第一次跑到那么远的地方, 怎能不担心呢?

说着说着眼泪就流了下来.

我看了好心疼, 我不孝, 让家人担心了, 真的突然不想出国了.

妈, 对不起, 让你担心了..

This is NOT a plan

This is NOT a plan, the comment i get from iqbal after i was burning midnight oil for few days.

my so-called plan wasn't a PLAN in the eye of him,

i'm disappointed, desperate, frustrated.

i really doubt on my ability to complete the degree.

sigh...

Speed Up~!!

12 days to go and yet i have done all my plans, readings logs, report and reflexive essays.

WTH, I Q Bal is torturing us.

In fact i didn't see other courses who are also going to LJMU would face this hectic workloads.

It's UNFAIR for us!!!

We, Mass Comm. students have 7 modules to be done, out of this 7, 3 modules were taught at M'sia.

Then we have to complete readings logs for few readings, participate in forum as part of forum contribution, writing plans, writing reports, WTH...

These are killing me!!! i'm going to Liverpool for the next three months and yet i have packed my stuff.

Stupid assignments, Stupid Journals and Stupid LJMU~!!!!

Must TURBO up my Speed~!!!

issshhhhhhhhhh....

罗里吧嗦

这是五月里打的第一贴，距离上次留下的脚印有两个星期了.

两个星期里，发生的事，说多，事实上也没很多，说少嘛，也不算很少.

这段日子就是提不起心情来更新我的部落格.

就这里就总结一下两个星期里大概在我身上发生了什么吧 =)

上两个星期，结束了连续五个星期每天工作的狂人日子，

星期一到五在办公室上班，周末就出现在购物广场.

现在回想起来，我还蛮享受的，虽然那段期间偶尔会喘不过气来，心情也超低潮。

看到人家在逛街，我却在拼命工作，

心里在碎碎念没天理，心里超不平衡，哈哈.

上个星期，为一路来这么努力的自己买了架Panasonic Lumix数码相机 (借口= =）

硬向他拗了$300来赞助我，我很坏? 我并没有，好不好?

其实我觉得我已经很帮他省钱了，人家的女朋友不是常常会想男友要求这个那个吗？

我发誓我真的不是这样的人( ˇˍˇ )，

在一起已经三年了，送过我最贵的东西是$300，

这样的要求不过分吧 (╰_╯)#

前两天向我在MSIG里Branding and Marketing Services Department的同事们辞行了, 结束了短短两个月的白领日子.

每天睏得要命，当时又每天工作，真个人简直和僵尸没两样 = =

很幸运的就是我遇到了各位心地善良，行事作风幽默的同事们.

Shio ti, 人长得很高，又瘦，就好像竹竿一样.

她告诉我她有心理病, 有强迫症, 就是那种东西一定要整整齐齐, 就连文件书钉的方向也要一样得人, 真的令我我开了眼界 (⊙o⊙).

行事作风强悍, 就好像女强人一样. 临走之前, 拼命推荐我毕业后在回去那里工作, 感动ing~~

Liew, 身形高大, 说不上是很胖，但就是肉肉的，常被同事们劝说要去减肥.

他的头脑转很快, 常常说冷笑话.

Yan Yan, 身形迷你袖珍，娇小玲珑，鞋子应该是穿三号.

很好相处, 是典型孩子大过天的妈妈，会为了孩子考试去请假的妈妈.

Emily, Level 27的秘书小姐, 皮肤白皙, 身材苗条加上说话的语气温柔到不行是, 说话真的好温柔，简直就是男生的梦中情人呗~~

不能不提的就是坐我对面的Azlan大哥, 每次喝咖啡或Milo很喜欢发出声音, 就是那种zhe zhe 声.

唉, 好难形容, 总之就是常常令我有想揍他的冲动.

我心理变态啊~~

还有Amelia, 阿Yan, Sandra以及Meg, 能与大一起工作真的是我的福气啦~!!!

各位同事们希望我们有缘再见吧~!!!

现在倒数着去Liverpool的日子, assignments一箩箩，根本就是要整死我们(╰_╯)#

东西都还没整理, 部落格都来不及更新~!!!

就写到这里了, 不然越写越多东西讲, 罗里吧嗦, 比缠脚布还长.

各位访客们再见~!!

(虽然这里冷清得很╮(╯_╰)╭, but还是要与大家道别一下..)

我难过

我很难受，可是为了你，我忍，因为我爱你，所以也要爱你的家人。

我受了委屈，可却只是感到你一味地在指责我，连面子书谈话箱也突然关了。

这是尊重吗？

我在流泪，你又知道吗？

我的心在淌血，你有帮它止血吗？

我早该知道我要靠我自己，不应该依赖你。

我早该知道当事情发生时，你不会站在我这里。

这样是尊重吗？

在你的话里，我感觉不到你有维护我。

不是应该保护我吗？

我是多么的难堪。。

流泪不是射手座常常会做的事，除非射手女真的很难过，可是常常流泪却是为了你。

我为什么要把自己变成这样？我想变回以前的我。

心痛了，心累了。

我们未来的路怎样走下去？我们还能一起走下去吗？我们还能走多远？

Marriage is the tomb of love?

The grand royal weeding finally comes to end when Prince William and Kate Middleton held the wedding ceremony at Westminster Abbey.

Wish they live happily ever after, hope the tragedy of Princess Diana and Prince Charles will not ever happen.

A combination of handsome guy (indeed he is handsome though there is a crisis of being bald soon) and pretty girl is always fulfilled the taste of audiences.

However, in reality, the Prince and Princess are just as commoners. They will argue with each other, they might lose interest to each other after few years.

Pretty and sexy girls are all over the world, and he is a prince, can he withstands with temptations?

Happily ever after only exist in fairy tales.

Marriage means responsibilities, obligations.

That's why people enjoy dating rather than marry.

Hi Blogspot, Long Time No See

Hey, my dearest Blogspot, i'm back.

Do you miss me?

Due to the suspension of Internet connection,

i could not update my facebook status and blogging for nearly two weeks.

I miss Blogspot and facebook so much, haha.

Hence, now let me talk about the 1Malaysia email project. This initiative was raised by the brilliant and wise Malaysia Prime Minister.

He said this approach can effectively accelerate the growth of Malaysia ICT industry,

spearheaded by Tricubes Berhad.

More than that, PM claimed the RM50 million investment will be made available through private funding.

i wonder how reliable is this.

What's the rationale of 1Malaysia email since i can fully utilize the functions of hotmail, yahoo mail, gmail?

Would the applied technology more advance Google and Microsoft technology?

Can't the government be more realistic?

The 1Malaysia email approach is innovative and ridiculous.

Our beloved PM wanna turn Malaysians to be the laughing stocks of foreigners?

Beastly - A romance fantasy

Typing this post with my new Asus lappie, this is the maiden post for my lappie.

I watched Beastly, the movie on monday.

Though it is a romance genre of movie, i watch it alone.

Starring by Vanessa Hudgens and Alex Pettyfer,

this movie somehow below my expectation.

The length of movie was about one and half hour,

personally i think this movie less romance scene,

there was not much psychological depiction of the process of Kyle Kingson (Alex Pettyfer) has a crush with Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens).

The story plot is simple and it's hard for me to identify any climax.

Though Kyle Kingson turned to a beast after he pissed off Kendra The Witch,

still he looks awesome and cool as the advancement of Hollywood makeup skills.

The story of romance, beauty and the beast are always the attention catcher for female audiences.

Overall, i rate this movie 75 out of 100 marks.

(Ps: Alex Pettyfer is indeed smexy, LOL...)

Love is Never Ugly

Pray for Japan

Two days ago, Japan experienced an ever worst 8.9 magnitude earthquake since the Great Kanto Earthquake, caused the death over 100,000 people.

officials confirmed that 1,400 people were killed in the quake,

more than 3,000 people are dead or missing, death toll is rising.

Officials anticipate another 7.0 magnitude of earthquake p

ossibly further damaging the already fragile nuclear plant.

nuclear plant is on the edge of meltdown,

Quoted this from ABC news:

"If there's a secondary earthquake, that could tip the whole thing over. Pipes could break, leaks could take place and even as you put sea water in, the water could bleed out, creating a full scale meltdown. That's the nightmare scenario."

if nuclear plant meltdown, radiation would disperse, threaten the health of human beings and environment, that's the worst scenarios, can't imagine

that...

Let's us pray for Japan, let's us contribute some minor effort to hope Japan citizens in a safe condition.

Let's us pray the world will without WAR, without NATURAL DISASTERS and without DISEASES, then it will be an utopia.

The Revenge of The Bald

Due to the skipped class yesterday, I Q bal revenge against the whole class.

Is the word 'revenge' appropriate in this context? xD

He added another assignment for us.

Unfortunately, our (refers to those who skipped class yesterday) ignorant caused the whole class to compulsory complete another 500 words assignment.

While my task is a 1000words assignment.

i sincerely apologized to all my groupmates of my behaviour.

though ken, jia wei and chun wai said they are okay with this,

but, my mistake involved the whole group.

So sorry about that >.<

I'm nervous about the uncertainties when cooperate with my groupmates in a totally new environment.

Her striking performance

Following her outburst on Tuesday, once again steph was under the limelight by her attitude and presentation during student seminar.

Quoted from Lau,

below are the respond from lecturers on her attitude.

Mr. S was unhappy after steph questioned him:

" i wanna ask question to the panel, why there's no quality in the student's work one."

He didn't even bother her when she did not show up during certificate ceremony.

Dr. T said: " so shameful "

Ms. Chan said: " I wonder why she can't just let it go, dun bother about anything "

Steph, even i'm not close to you,

however, we've been in the same class and same course for four years.

If this is the way you want to end your student life, i have nothing to say.

All the best to you, that's all what i can wish you.

Everything has a boundary,

audiences booing to you,

people disapprove you,

lecturers feel ashamed of you,

the name and reputation of AJR was tainted by you.

Is that what you wish?

I have totally no idea why in a sudden steph can become offensive, provoking and irritating. Things already occurred, why can't just let it go?

Any more striking performance from you for tomorrow class?

Another thing, this is dedicated to the "benda benda aunty"

Pity of you since you need to use personal attack to get the attention from I Q bal.

Is this your last resort to pander I Q bal?

Dramatic Days

These two days were considered as dramatic in my life.

It prompted me to blog about this.

In study, one more people relinquished the chance to go UK.

In life, my sister is now experiencing a crisis in her relationship.

I guess the whole journalism students knew I Q BAL is disfavouring steph.

Yesterday, our pairworks poster only got a 2.2 (which means second class lower).

sigh, i expect we could at least get a 2.1

Desperately, she said she might end up with a second class lower in degree.

Desperately Steph said she would think twice on her decision for not pursuing the three-month summer course.

These words still fresh around my ears.

Now, i can assert that she won't join the row with the probability of 99%.

Today, she yelled at lecture hall after I Q Bal delayed his teaching consequent of students didn't read journals.

She said: "I HATE F**KING INCOMPETENCE~!!!"

i think it's kinda AWESOME~~

Indeed I agree with her in certain extent.

Why those who had read journals need to provide answer for those incompetent?

It's unfair for them.

But, is her reactions exaggerate?

In life, a relationship crisis was happened in my sister.

i wonder how she will deal with this issue.

Break up? Or continue to be with him?

Love is never be an easy question.

突然想起

突然想起我好久都没把心静下来，

好好地聆听自己的心。

突然想起似乎与这社会脱节了，

现在流行什么样的玩意儿了？

突然想起好久都没为自己添加几件新衣裳，

陈年旧衣静静地等候我再度把它穿上。

突然想起人心是险恶的，

只因我相信人之初，性本善。

突然好想像其他女生那样自恋地拍照，

好好抓紧青春的尾巴

突然好想逃避现实，

可以预见未来的路并不好走

突然好想把长发剪去，

短发会适合我吗？

THIS IS A LOW TRAFFIC BLOG

definitely this is a low traffic blog,

not many of my close friends know i do blogging.

my bf knows i do blogging, however he seldom visit here.

I did display the blog url on my facebook profile,

yet i'm the one comprising majority of the 282 visits.

i think this may due to i refuse and unwillingly to promote my blog in a high-profile way.

I blog not for any purpose, it simply a platform to venture my thoughts.

I'm loyal to my principle.

A high visit stat might make me delightful, but it lost the true meaning of blogging.

Just now i displayed about Nuffnang ads on my blog.

Just simply make for fun, i don't expect i can get any paid from the advertisers since THIS IS A LOW TRAFFIC BLOG.

Sicking of money

Going to have two job interviews later, one locates at Menara Maxis another company locates at Damansara Intan.

Hopefully i could grab the job offer from the company at Menara Maxis since it's more transportation-friendly for me.

Yearning of money

Dying of boredom

Thus, please offer me some job, ok?

I'm going to have a Dubai stopover along my trip to Manchester.

It adds approximate 800 bucks into the original air-ticket price for a 21 hours stay at Dubai.

Sounds expensive?

Indeed it is.

For the short stay at Dubai, an adventurous desert trip is a must.

i will experience a 45 minutes dune bushing,

camel ride,

hubbly bubbly,

henna

and etc.

Of course, i'm not going to take the hubbly bubbly (or known as hookah) since it's another form of smoking.

can't wait the time to come.